She liked going to church. It soothed her, being in the company of fellow worshippers, and no matter how much she got taunted about her blind devotion, nothing was about to stop her attendance. As the music reached a crescendo, she closed her eyes, lifted her arms, and lost herself in the words of the song.

She packed her clothes methodically, putting the white garments away with reverence. She had attended yet another gathering this evening, even though she had had to pay for the privilege. It was a fellowship she enjoyed, and the fact that payment was collected at the door, did nothing to detract from that. She bowed before him at the end, and waited for him to acknowledge her before she slipped out quietly.

She was going for a trip with the girls. It had been years since she had travelled anywhere just because, and she was looking forward to hanging out with them in Dubai. Her children were in boarding school, and she preferred it that way. They weren’t around much, they didn’t witness her black eyes or bruised arms. They didn’t see the marks on her throat that had forced her to become an involuntary collector of scarves, scarves that sometimes stifled her in the blazing hot weather, but kept her secret safe.

She scrutinized her ticket carefully. She was making a detour before joining her girlfriends, so she had to get going. Charles had travelled abroad. She preferred it when he was gone, her work kept her too busy to brood much during office hours, and by the time she was done with church and fellowship, there wasn’t time left for anything but sleep.  He was a typical abuser, charming and nice to everyone who knew them, reserving his fists for when they were alone.

She had a conviction this trip would change both their lives. They had been married for 17 years, and she knew it was time to light up their relationship with some fireworks, the right kind this time. It had taken careful planning, and the help of her cousins, but once she had explained, they had been more than willing to assist.

She glanced at herself in the mirror. She was not a lepa shandy but she wasn’t an orobo either. She preferred to think of herself as a pocket Venus, small, but nicely rounded. She liked her food, and did not go to the gym, and over the years,  this had become more apparent in her physique. A smile lit her face as she studied her reflection, she was happy with what she saw. She couldn’t dawdle any longer, she had a flight to catch.

She landed at Murtala Mohammed Airport in the early hours of the morning, and was whisked to the apartment as had been arranged. She went through each room to familiarise herself with their layout, and then she tucked herself into the plush bed in the master bedroom and fell into deep sleep. A few hours later, showered and fully rested, she sat in front of the mirror, and began to apply her make-up.

She heard the purr of the car engine just as she put the finishing touches, and she stood up hurriedly to make sure everything was in place. She had made his cocktail just the way he liked it, and had set the drink on the table in the living room, with some Asa playing softly in the background. She unlocked the front door, and went back into the bedroom to wait.

He knocked the door, and when he did not hear a response, he turned the handle. He smiled as it opened, then grinned widely as he got inside and caught sight of the drink. ‘Yeah baby!’ he exclaimed, as he grabbed the drink and bounded towards the bedroom excitedly. He did not notice the door locking behind him.

Gulping the drink down, he suddenly froze as he realised it was his wife standing before him.

‘What is the meaning of this?’ He spluttered angrily. ‘Why are you here?’

‘We arranged to meet didn’t we?’ she answered with a smile ‘I told you about my uncle’s apartment, and you said you would show me the time of my life once he was out of town.’

‘That was you?’ he asked incredulously ‘You were the one sending me those tweets?  All this time I was arranging to set P with you?’

‘Yes darling’ she answered, still smiling. ‘I thought it would be a good way to revive our marriage. You haven’t touched me in ages except to hit me, I though this would remind you of how things used to be….’ and the rest of her words were cut off as he emptied the rest of his drink into her face with a curse.

She stepped back and used her sleeve to wipe her face, whilst ruing the fact that her carefully applied makeup was now smudged. Unlike before though, her eyes were not welling up with tears. ‘You really shouldn’t use such language’ she remarked calmly, as he continued to hurl insults at her, her parents and her family at large.

‘You shameless idiot. Throwing yourself at a man. How desperate can you be for attention, to resort to such tactics.’ He sideswiped her with the back of his palm  sending her to the floor with the force of the blow, and continued to taunt her as he stepped over her and headed for the door. He grabbed at the handle a few times before he realised the door was locked, and he turned back towards her, incensed , ready to batter her to a pulp. And then he gaped.

Instead of the flowing outfit she had worn, she was now dressed in white, and she bowed before him mockingly. ‘You don’t want to make love abi? Oya prepare for war.’ He gazed in disbelief as she launched herself into the air and kicked his jaw shut, leaving him sprawled on his back. ‘Are you mad?’ he spluttered as she sat up. ‘Have you gone insane? What is the meaning of this? You are kicking me? Your husband? I will kill you today, and call your parents to come and collect the corpse of their mad daughter.’

A well placed kick to his shoulder knocked him sideways and this time he scrambled to his feet and rushed at her like a whirlwind. Salewa ducked his poorly aimed blows and proceeded to use him as a training partner for all the moves she had learnt in her martial arts classes. She aimed her blows and kicks strategically until he cowered on the floor in front of her and pleaded with her to stop.

‘I will stop, but not until I have done this,’ and sitting on the floor, she stretched his arm behind him at an angle till she heard it pop out of its shoulder socket. And then before his scream had died out, she calmly repeated the action on the other arm.

She dusted her hands off as she went into the bedroom to get her holdall, and then she addressed the gibbering wreck as he whimpered on the floor. She went through his coat pockets and found his mobile phones, and switched them all off. ‘Like you always say, this is Nigeria. By the time you get your sorry behind out of here, I’ll be long gone. And who will you tell that you got beaten up by your wife?  As for me, I was never here. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.’

Her car was waiting out front to take her to the airport. She smiled as her Emirates flight was announced. Dubai was going to be great fun.

Thanks for stopping by Smile.








About Joxy

When I'm not cooking or thinking about cooking, then I'm writing, or thinking about writing. I love misdirection....nothing is ever what it seems!
This entry was posted in Fiction and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Salewa

  1. ToksM says:

    Joke as we say in Naija (Yoruba) parlance…this is sweet

  2. livelytwist says:

    Lol… I do not subscribe to violence, but I am laughing hard 🙂

  3. Ginger says:

    Justice well served lol. This is one of the times, i wouldn’t have minded a little sniping off of of a finger or orchidectomy.

    p.s. It reminded me of JLo’s Enough.

    • Joxy says:

      Looked up orchidectomy and OMG! Lol. Nah, that would have been cutting off her nose to spite her face 🙂 Never heard of that song, but then again this is me who heard Cameo’s Candy for the first time ever on the 10th of this month. Will go Youtube it. Thank you 🙂

      • Ginger says:

        lol. i deliberately used the medical term. wanted you to work for it lol.
        Enough is a movie jare. You should watch it. plays out like your short story.

        Eh…Who is Cameo or Cameo’s candy. tit for that ehh?

  4. Angel says:

    Deep!!! Loved it!

  5. That’ll teach him to mess with her again 😀

  6. Olaronke says:

    Love this one .. Salewa Kung Fu ..

  7. Jennifer.A says:

    This was gooooooood! Wow.

  8. Amina says:

    Now he go served!!! I love it. I pray she finds hot romance for the duration of her trip. Chop, clean mouth and come back to a well behaved-tail-between-his-legs husband #thereihavesaidit

  9. lizzfem says:

    Nice, but it needs more detail, like what she is thinking, the expression on her face as she walks off, and why after all this year’s. I enjoyed it, but I wanted to connect with her emotionally.

  10. Tessy says:

    I’m laughing my head off. So funny. Lol.

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