Tough love

The other day, I got a note from Egirl’s piano teacher. She said Egirl had been tearful in a couple of lessons, and had complained that her hands hurt when she was asked to play new pieces. She said Egirl didn’t seem to like her new book, so she was going to change it for something easier. I read the note, took a deep breath, and told Egirl I needed to have a chat with her.

Me: Do you still like having piano lessons?

Egirl: Yes mama.

Me: Okay then, read your teacher’s note.

She reads through slowly.

Me: Why were you crying during lessons?

Egirl: I found it difficult to get it right, I kept trying and trying. And my hands were hurting.

Me: That’s what life is all about, you try till you get it right, it is not a race, there’s no one chasing you, it is not a cause for tears.

Egirl in a somber tone: Okay mama.

Me: And why were your hands hurting?

Egirl: Sometimes when I play before going in for my piano lessons, my hands start to hurt.

Me: You must not engage in any form of playing that will affect your fingers before your piano lesson. You hear me? And you should do your finger exercises to strengthen your fingers so they don’t hurt. Okay?

Egirl: Okay mama.

Me: It’s okay if you don’t want to do piano anymore, it’s just as well we haven’t bought you a proper piano yet, we’ll put away the keyboard till Etoddler can use it. Just let me know.

Egirl loudly: No mama!

Me: Well, you can’t go to school and be crying at your lessons. You hear me? And as for having an easier book, forget it. You are a clever girl, and are more than able to master new things, you have the ability to, and you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. I am going to tell your teacher not to change your book. You must keep practising till you get it right. You go to school to learn new things, that is what it is all about, you hear me?

Egirl: I hear you mama.

Me: Oya come for a hug, and go and do some piano practice.

We hug, and shortly after I hear her tinkling away at the keyboard.

The next day, I see her piano teacher at school. I tell her Egirl is to continue with the book she doesn’t like, as she is capable of doing it. She tells me Egirl reads music perfectly, but doesn’t like moving her hands away from the middle C key. I tell her I have told Egirl to take her time, and practice till she gets it right. Egirl emerges from her ballet lesson shortly after. I tell her I have seen her piano teacher,and her book will stay the same. She grins at me. I grin back.

Thanks for stopping by.

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About Joxy

When I'm not cooking or thinking about cooking, then I'm writing, or thinking about writing. I love misdirection....nothing is ever what it seems!
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13 Responses to Tough love

  1. Aww! Bless her!

    I loved “You must not engage in any form of playing that will affect your fingers before your piano lesson.” 😮 😮

  2. anoda phase says:

    awww…I like ur firm, yet loving parenting style…and that pep talk you gave Egirl? beautiful! She does need to know from a young age that she is more than able to do whatever she sets her heart/mind to…I’ll surely be adopting this style when I become a momma.

  3. Yep, you have to have these firm discussions from time to time. Good one!

  4. Vera Ezimora says:

    Awwww. Joxy, be my mommy … and buy me shoes … in a firm, loving way, of course. Well, you can do it anyhow as long as I end up with shoes afterward.

  5. Jaycee says:

    Awwwwwww……..tough love! I totally LOVE how you handled the situation, JJ. This must be some sort of plot to make me want to have kids right now. Lol.

  6. Dee! says:

    Beautiful! I like your approach! That is the best way to interact with our little adults. Please encourage her to always practice O!

    I played the piano as a child, but after my Dad passed on I stopped practicing! However, I can read and play some musical notes courtesy of my lessons and Smallwood!

    Nice blog! I’ll be back 🙂

    • Joxy says:

      Thanks Dee, I encourage her to practice, but to be honest, sometimes I forget :(. It’s nice to know she’s acquiring a life long skill, she actually played a solo piece at an instrumental concert yesterday without missing a note. I’ve stopped by yours too, I like :).

  7. Myne Whitman says:

    Yes o, she can do all things through Christ, and He will continue to strengthen her fingers.

    Reading this reminded me of the book by that Chinese woman, Tiger mom or something like that. All the best dear, and God be with you too as you continue to parent the children in His way.

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