Cheryl Cole ft Gamu – the remix

Conspiracy theories abound about what happened at Cheryl Cole‘s  house on Sunday’s X Factor show. For those of you who don’t have a clue about what I’m talking about, here’s a summary.

The X Factor is a singing (supposedly) talent contest. The winner gets a recording contract, releases a single around Christmas time, usually gets the number 1 spot (except if Rage against the Machine decide to rage) etc.

First the contestants audition in front of the judges and a studio audience, then those that get through go to boot camp. Boot camp is where it gets serious, this year Simon Cowell told them, ‘You only get one chance, this is it’ or used words to that effect. There is no quarter given. You forget the lyrics, you miss a note, you are out, end of. Successful contestants are split into 4 categories. Each category is ‘mentored’ by a judge, and gets to go to that judge’s ‘house’, where the last cut is made, and three finalists are put through to the live shows. The public votes for their favourite at the end of every live show, whoever gets the least votes goes home, till there is one singer standing. And then we all switch off our tellies, and wait for Britains’s Got Talent. Or so.

Anyways, this is about what happened at Cheryl Cole’s, here we go.

Annastasia had been down this road before, two years ago to be precise. She had fallen apart during her song, and Cheryl had said to her as a reason for not putting her through to the finals,’ You absolutely fell apart in front of my eyes. That would be a worry for me.’  This time, she sang as well as she could, but there were better singers than her, again she did not get through.

Katie told us she wanted to become a legend. She wants to be known in the field of film, music, science and even medicine. She wants to ‘be’ a legacy. She told us all this with ostrich feathers weighing down her eyes in place of her real eyelashes. She twirled a parasol around her head as she twittered and giggled in front of Cheryl and She started to sing…then flubbed her lines. Incredibly, this legendary legacy leaver who wants to blaze trails even in the medical field (perhaps for pioneering avian optical implants), forgot her lines! She stuttered, and Cheryl gave her another chance. She got through the song on her second attempt, and was chosen for the finals!

Rebecca had a haunting heart tugging quality to her voice. She also had this air of vulnerability about her, that makes you want to reach out and hug her, and tell her everything was going to be okay. She sang beautifully, and got through, deservedly so.

Treyc was  another previous contestant, she sang beautifully this time, she did not get through.

Cher told us she had not been well, but she was going to do her best. She started singing, missed a note or the into or whatever. Cheryl stopped her, went over to her, gave her a hug, and whispered to her ‘It doesn’t matter what kind of performance you give here today, I am the judge and I have the final say over who gets through. I liked you from the very first moment I saw you, I got you, and that’s all that matters. You’re going to be in the last 12, so I’d rest my throat if I were you’ or something to that effect. Louder, she says to her ‘Give it another try’ or something to that effect. Cher made an ‘attempt’ to sing again, then shook her head, mumbled ‘I’m done, sorry’ then ambled off secure in the knowledge she was going through. And indeed she was.

Gamu Nhengu is a Zimbabwean born girl. The whole nation knew that, she had told us on the very first day she appeared on our TV screens for her audition.

A natural, down to earth singer with no airs about her, she brought tears to Louis Walsh’s eyes at bootcamp.

She belted out her song, and sounded to my untrained ears, pitch and note perfect.

For all that, she did not get through. As part of her reason for not choosing her, Cheryl said ‘You are extremely adorable. You’ve got a great voice. It’s just a question for me now as to whether you brought the star quality that I was looking for….’

Excuse me, but I don’t know when it became star quality not to remember the words to a song (and no, I am not referring to Whitney). This is supposed to be a singing contest, anyone can look like a star once the wardrobe and make-up department lay their hands on them, so I for one don’t have a clue what Cheryl was going on about. There was a sense of reprieve once we heard that this year, there would be an additional wild card entry from each of the four categories, but it is almost certain Gamu would not be making it through, as she is said to have ‘visa issues’. No, she is not an illegal immigrant, she has applied for a renewal of her visa in accordance with the requirements of the Home Office, and there is no suggestion that her visa application would be denied, yet this is purported to be the reason why Cheryl was ‘ordered’ not to put her through.

It seems that everyone in the country was aware of her country of origin except the X Factor honchos, surely someone ought to have done their due diligence right from the get go and checked to see if her visa status was in accordance with their terms and conditions. If they could go to the trouble of getting Katie (or Lola Fontaine as she was then known) out of a pre-existing recording contract with Chamberlain Records in the U.S, I don’t see how come Gamu’s visa is suddenly an issue.

For the record, I don’t believe Cheryl is a racist. I also don’t believe she is a credible judge of talent either, and as I write, neither do 147,965  Facebook users.


About Joxy

When I'm not cooking or thinking about cooking, then I'm writing, or thinking about writing. I love misdirection....nothing is ever what it seems!
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16 Responses to Cheryl Cole ft Gamu – the remix

  1. ClaireP says:

    Simon Cowell is a very clever man, he didn’t get all his millons from not knowing his business – he puts a prostitute through and everyone is taking about it non stop for 2 weeks, he kicks out a favorite (although every judge kicked out a talent in favor of a donkey) and of course the whole country (it seems) is in uproar, and once again it is now talked about non stop.

    For me this is a circus to create maximum publicity, she will be back in it next week visa or no visa along with I guess Marlon for the boys Annastasia for the overs and I would guess the Reason for the groups. For me I have lost interest, clearly this is no longer a “honest” singing competition but a fantastic marketing campaign after all we can’t have the winner not being number one again can we?

    • Joxy says:

      You’re right Claire. When Gamu got dropped, I yelled ‘That’s it. I’m not watching X Factor any more.’ T said ‘So you won’t be watching next week then?’ I sheepishly replied, ‘Well, I just might.’ I guess I’ll be watching just to see my non favourites get booted out, so yes, Simon would get a huge ratings boost, that’s what it’s about all said and done. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  2. anoda phase says:

    I’m totally in sync with this post…

    …after seeing the 12 who were put through on Sunday, and in particular Gamu not making it…I said to my hubby “The new dictionary definition for RUBBISH is X-FACTOR”…

    • Joxy says:

      Doyin, I hear you 🙂 Cheryl should have come out straight and said it was due to visa issues. There would have been more sympathy than for her to have claimed her decision was based on talent. It’s a real shame though, the producers ought to have been more thorough in their checks…

    • Freak Show says:

      It’s become a freak show, and will probably merge with Eurovision song contest down the line

  3. The Wordsmythe says:

    ‘Avian optical implants’ had me in stitches.

    Well written!

    As the pickings on Saturday peak time viewing are so slim, in spite of my righteous indignation and thorough disgust at the carryings-on of the judges (Cheryl and Danii), I shall look forward to the next offering of X-factor, much to Simon Cowell’s banker’s delight!

  4. Myne Whitman says:

    It is unfortunate the Xfactor producers allowed visa issues and such to get in the way of real talent, and then for Cheryl to allow herself to be pulled into it. SMH. I was rooting for Gamu though I couldn’t watch the show over here in the US. Xfactor beats Idol.

    • Joxy says:

      My exact sentiments. You’ll be getting X Factor in the States next year no? I definitely think the whole Gamu situation could have been handled a lot better, it appears that her family has indeed been refused leave to remain in the country, very unfortunate indeed.

  5. Jessamy Goddard says:

    What a shame that Gamu is having to fight to have her visa renewed because of some tax credits that were claimed in error. Do we, as tax payers have a say in this. I would far rather Gamu and her family had some of my taxes than the politicians who were recently having to pay back so much!! By the way, were they deported? And if not, why not? Gamu at least is entertaining!!

  6. Jessamy Goddard says:

    I just read somewhere that David Cameron is stepping in to prevent Gamu from being deported. I was at work at the time so I am going to find the link again now. That would be marvelous and he will go up in my estimation. If I find the link I will post it here. I have offered to pay £20 towards the tax credits that were given to the family in error. If we all do that it will soon be paid!!

    • Joxy says:

      Her plight has definitely touched the heart of the nation, it’ll be good if the whole situation can be reviewed again. I think DC should also have a word with the people who assessed the benefits claim originally. With supporters like you, the sky’s the limit for Gamu! 🙂

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