My name is Monkey

Being a mum is a lot of work. I’m not complaining though, I am aware that I am very fortunate to be in this position, and I appreciate every moment. Here’s what happened when……….

Monkey came home with Etoddler the other weekend. When I went to pick her up from school, she was clutching a shoebox that had a string handle. Nestled in this box under a pretty blanket was Monkey. This is Monkey’s story, as told by Monkey. Oh, and lest you wonder why I am being so repetitive, it is because I don’t know if Monkey is a boy or girl. Enjoy.


I am so excited, I get to go home with Etoddler today for the very first time. She’s new at nursery, and seems to cry a lot. It’ll be interesting to see what she’s like at home, only one way to find out I guess. I’m all snug (and hot) under my cosy blanket, but I’m finding it hard to fret about that as Etoddler is swinging my box wildly and I’m feeling all kinds of dizzy. I’m worried she’ll tip me out but fortunately Emama Joxy rescues me just in time. Etoddler makes a face and is about to cry, so I get handed back to her with instructions for her to treat me gently. We wait a few minutes for Egirl to finish her classes, and then we head to the car. The wild swinging resumes in full force, and soon my blanket flies off into the air and I am left uncovered for all to see. I enjoy the breeze on my skin and then Joxy glances down at me and notices I am bare. We all turn round and begin to retrace our steps when a kind parent coming up behind hands my blanket back. Etoddler covers me up again, and then I hitch a ride on Ebaby’s buggy, Etoddler’s protests notwithstanding.

The journey home is uneventful, I ride in the back between Etoddler and Ebaby, Joxy drives, with Egirl in front too. We get home, and the girls start whooping and hollering. I did not realise that Etoddler could make so much noise. I am set down on the dining table and forgotten as the girls get snacks. It’s hair day today, and an aunty comes round to cornrow the girls’ hair. I look at all the toys on the floor and wonder if I’m in yet another nursery. The plaiting seems to go on forever, with innumerable breaks for feeding, placating, cajoling and chiding. At long last their hair is done, the girls go upstairs to bath and bed, and I lie in Ebaby’s toy ring, bemused at all I’ve seen and heard.


Etoddler and Egirl are all abuzz this morning. They whirl about in a flurry of activity, wolfing their breakfasts down in the process. I am a bit bemused and then I hear the word ‘tennis’. Ah, the penny drops. The girls have tennis lessons this morning. I wonder if I’ll get the chance to spend some time with Ebaby while the older two are out with Joxy, but no such luck. Etoddler grabs me by the arm and throws me at Egirl who promptly throws me right back. This goes on for a while. Ebaby chortles with excitement as I hurtle through the air at breakneck speed between the sisters. She thinks it’s great fun. Me, I’m not so sure. At the tennis court, I am propped up on a rail while the girls go through their paces. I wonder if I’ll be court-side when they play at Wimbledon in a few years’ time. Here’s a picture of me trying not to look bored.

Service game

The hour whizzes past, and back home we go. The girls eat some more food, and then we go out again. This time, Ebaby and T are with us. It’s party time, and our first stop is at Thewordsmythe’s. She’s having a barbecue to celebrate her sons’ birthdays, and Joxy is besides herself at the thought of all that meat. It’s a hot sunny day, and we all have lots of fun (and food).

Bouncing, bouncing.

Did I mention we had loads of food?

Plantain 'n' Chicken

I was going to throw myself on to the grill to rescue the large bananas, but relaxed on being told they were actually plantains. Phew!

Our next stop was at Annabel’s first birthday party, but Etoddler left me in the car. Oh well, will catch up on much needed beauty sleep.


We’re not going to church today, so we all have Bible study and pray together. We have a very late breakfast of pancakes, bacon and sausages. Very yummy, didn’t know T was such a dab hand in the kitchen. Joxy gets us into the car again, but doesn’t say where we’re going. Ebaby’s staying at home though, it’s way too hot for her to be out in the sun, plus she’ll rather be bonding with her dada. We turn unto a farm, and all is revealed. We’re going fruit picking! I’m disappointed there are no bananas, and Joxy’s a bit gutted that the strawberries have all gone, but the fact that we have met up with C and her children make up for this. Etoddler and J are in the same class, Egirl and V are in the same year, and J is excited to see Monkey again, so everyone’s happy.

I’m stuck on top of a gooseberry bush, and everyone starts picking.


J thinks I’m hungry so feeds me a broad bean.


We end up getting gooseberries, baby carrots, spring onions, and a cabbage.

I have learnt that Etoddler is a very playful, noisy little girl. I’ll miss her, but I am ready to go back to nursery.

Thanks for stopping by.

About Joxy

When I'm not cooking or thinking about cooking, then I'm writing, or thinking about writing. I love misdirection....nothing is ever what it seems!
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14 Responses to My name is Monkey

  1. Jaycee (E.A) says:

    Ha ha ha. This was just too much fun to read. Lol.

    I wonder if I’ll be court-side when they play at Wimbledon in a few years’ time.

    I was going to throw myself on to the grill to rescue the large bananas, but relaxed on being told they were actually plantains. Phew! Lol, that’s true, Monkeys like bananas. You have such a vivid imagination.

    Loved the pictures. Where did you guys go fruitpicking? Sounds like a wonderful family adventure…I’d be sure to keep that in mind when we have our own kids in the future. Lol.

    • Joxy says:

      It was the first time we’d been, we all had great fun. Etoddler would have uprooted/picked the whole farm if I’d let her! has a list of participating farms worldwide, I’m sure you’ll find something near you, and who says you have to wait till the kids come? You’ll both enjoy it even now :). Thanks for stopping by Jaycee.

  2. Hey, I get a mention on JustJoxy’s blog! Hooray!

    Thanks for coming to our barbecue, we had a really great time.

    I saw Monkey with E-toddler that day but didn’t realise he’d had such an eventful weekend. Bless him! (I think Monkey’s a ‘he’).

    I loved the narrative from Monkey’s point of view. I’ll be sure to check out the fruit and veg picking farms around us, the boys would really enjoy that. Thanks

    • Joxy says:

      Ahem, I wasn’t given much choice in the matter as I recall :). We enjoyed ourselves, it was really nice hanging out. Monkey’s gender? Hmm, not convinced Monkey’s a ‘he’. I thought I’d let a guest blogger put up a post for a change, thanks for liking 🙂 and for stopping by. PYO’s fun, I’m sure you’ll have a great time.

  3. lucidlilith says:

    te he he he…funny about rescuing bananas…Monkey may have ended up as the other meat besides the chicken!

  4. Myne Whitman says:

    This is really funny and I enjoyed reading. Monkey looks cute and is a great storyteller, lol. Loved the pics too.

  5. ClaireP says:

    J will be so pleased he got a mention with Monkey – I dread September when he brings him home and we have to hand him back I can hear the tantrums now!

    Raspberries, Blackberries, Spinach, Baby beets, Spring onions are picking now. The other lot of Strawberries are about 10 days away xxx

    • Joxy says:

      Monkey was insistent that I put in J’s picture, Monkey liked the broad bean (and loves J). September? Ages away, and I refuse to think about it. Long may the holiday last :). Hmmm, I bet loads of people are lying in wait for those strawberries, I know I am!

  6. So well written! No wonder they think humans evolved from monkeys. Did I say I loved reading it? I did!

  7. AlooFar says:

    Very funny post.

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