Now I know

I can meet a target if I set my mind to it. All I have to do is desire the outcome enough, and I will find a way to achieve it.  It’s funny the excuses we throw up for not doing things, but I think the bottom line is desire. Desire is  the fuel that feeds the flame of one’s determination. Or so. That phrase made perfect sense to  me when I was thinking about this piece. This is a realisation I have recently come to, however belatedly it might be. I’ve had a busy day, busier than most, yet here I am, writing.

The event on the 17th was absolutely beautiful, it was well planned and perfectly executed, and I am pleased to have been a small part of it, even if only by showing up. In my outfit.

Egirl is learning to play the piano. I have never had an interest in learning anything to do with music, but I now find myself determined to learn how to play the piano too. Not because I hope to give a performance one day, but because I want to be able to help her. I believe that as a mother, the best gift I can give my children is to assist and encourage them to be the best that they can be in everything that they do. I haven’t started learning yet, I told her I would though, so now each time she practices, she says ‘Mama, it’s your turn now’ and I smile and reply ‘If I come now, how will the dishes get washed? Or ‘who will cook your lunch?’ etc. I am not stalling though, I desire to know how to play, and learn I will. For now, I listen to her while I stand at the sink or the cooker, and I listen hard. And when I hear a note that doesn’t quite sound right, I ask her ‘Was that supposed to sound like that?’ and she grins at me and says ‘No, mama’ and then plays it again. Till she gets the note right, or gets tired of trying.

There are some things I won’t ever learn to do, not because I am unable to, but because my desire to do so will never be strong enough. I will never know how it feels to have a bungee strap attached to my ankle. For the simple reason that bungee jumping just ain’t for me.

I’ve gone jet skiing before, never mind the fact that I did it kneeling on the skis as I was too terrified to stand, and had to be rescued  by lifeguards afterwards from water that was only about 4 feet deep as I was convinced I was drowning, but the fact remains that I did it. Even though I couldn’t and still can’t swim.

I will now go away and have a think about the things I desire to do, and I’ll come back and tell you some of them. I’m not ready to make any promises yet, But I think one of them might be to give you a definite timescale in which you can expect to read an update on life – as I see it.

About Joxy

When I'm not cooking or thinking about cooking, then I'm writing, or thinking about writing. I love misdirection....nothing is ever what it seems!
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